I can’t fall asleep unless my bedroom feels like Antarctica.
How To Deal With A Crush
30 years later and piper and Alex are still in prison…
Imagine if Breaking Bad was set in Canada or the UK or Australia. Walt discovers he has lung cancer, is promptly treated at no cost and discharged with no financial burden apart from $20 in subsidised prescriptions. The end.
hmm. it’s almost as if Breaking Bad might have been trying to say something. Who knows, though
- Maggie (Emma Roberts) is a con-artist fortuneteller who will have a romantic storyline with Jimmy (Evan Peters)
last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up
And so begins today’s edition of ‘How much caffeine do I need to consume to pass as a functional adult’
*bangs fist on table* I WANT COLD WEATHER
I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT
full time hoe online….very shy hoe irl
we’re being faced with a serious issue.
there is only 1 sarcasm left
now we’ve got to use it wisely. please, for the love of god, think before you speak. it’s gotta be good.
yeah okay, i’ll be sure to do that
ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog
I can’t beat Miss Piggy in a fight. She’s very strong and knows karate.
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”